Sunrise: Did I Cause the Death?
A couple of weeks ago we discussed briefly why people die. Our talks are not exhaustive on any given topic, and there are many questions youth may think or feel that we never hear unless we go searching. Yet a question young people may think about and if we are fortunate communicate to us, did I cause the death? It is not uncommon for youth to feel guilty when a loved one dies. What is uncommon is when they come to us first because they feel this way. What a blow this discovery is to our heart when we learn of this! Be aware, young people may feel the same or similar emotions that we feel.
Yet it is understandable when people feel this way, because it so often seems to go against our value system of how life is supposed to progress forward. We may give an immediate answer to the question initially. Youth are not responsible for the expected or sudden normal death. Yet now we must give a lengthy answer that takes more time and thoughtful consideration to satisfy the young mind. First, each death and family dynamic is unique and must be taken into specific consideration. These factors will have an important influence on why the answer is what we have given.
Second, it may be necessary to bring to remembrance the previous discussion, why people have to die. Further it would be well to inquire of the youth why they are feeling the way they are and it is important to seek as many details from the youth as possible.
We need to be in the habit of involving youth in the subject and events of loss teaching them that loss is a normal part of life. If we have not been, begin now. It is vital that we prepare our youth, through our continual training, instruction and nurturing. Life involves change. This is Sunrise.